Hi Gwo wei,
I like the rhetorical frame-work of the poem. Although full of abstractions I believe the concept of the poem is sound. Don't really think you need the bolded rhymes and capitalisations, although I kinda dig the itallics which strengthens the rhetoric intent of the piece IMO. The first two stanzas work well. I think you start running out of steam by S3.
And yes, better to skip the vulgarities. There are a variety of age groups here. I also recommend
http://writersconnect.org, hit The forum button, where you can post more adult material. We respect word choice as and when it expresses original artistic thought.
Cheers
C